I must be Mad!

It has come to the time where Merlin must go to his first show. Merlin is a one year old Clydesdale Colt ( still has his manhood) and as he is registered, I am able to enter him for the in hand show classes and also the Clydesdale Horse Society Shield. However I was initially looking forward to this, I am not now. Everyday when I think "right I'm ready and I know what I am doing" something else crops up. For instance yesterday I was thinking great, I have all your pampering stuff, you are going to look great- all set". Today I find that I might need to plait him up! This entails more shopping for ribbon and raffia and also its a new style of plaiting that I have never done before! Personally I'm dreading it!

I can see us now.........................

"Merlins wizard is now entering the ring. But whats this? Her steed has taken off round the ring at a flat out gallop dragging Merlin's wizard with him.! After regaining some control the pair look as if they should be entered for the best dressed hedge!"

I think I will be fine (I say completely unconvinced), but I have little confidence in this area and Merlin has never done this before, at least it is the blind leading the blind. I suppose if we disgrace ourselves this much then we wont have to go back next year!!

I will report back on Monday evening on how Myself and Merlin did at the Northumberland Show.

Merlin's Wizard

xxx

My Gran

I wrote this poem last night about my Grandma- its a bit of fun and I hope you enjoy reading it!


My Gran

She's the one who makes my sore tummy feel better,
She's the woman's' whose handwriting you cant read in a letter.

She's the woman who says "put the lights out please",
She's the woman who makes scones with red cheddar cheese.

She's the woman who vacuums like shes got OCD,
She's the woman who loves soaps on the TV.

Everyday I wake up I hope I grow up to be like her,
Because she's my gran, and she's just super!

What a Porker!!

I feel that it is time for a rant!!

I am going to a wedding reception this Saturday night and I discovered I had nothing to wear, as I spend my life in wellies and riding shirts. Hit the shops I thought.

So off i went to Berwick- Upon- Tweed, thinking I was bound to get a lovely dress that would be perfect. Into New Look and all that was on offer was the usual casual wear, all made from the cheapest material and to be honest looked as if it would unravel in the washing machine. Not going to get anything here then, I thought.

Off to Dorothy Perkins, same as the above, not a single thing which could be used for that type of function.

And so it went on and a traipsed into every single clothes shop in the town. In sheer desperation I went into the local designer label shop ( I don't usually go there as I refuse to pay the exuberant prices) I saw this dress, lovely it was, made by Firetrap, and teamed with the right accessories it would be perfect. "What size" said the man. "Well I'm usually a 12/ 14 it depends on the cut". "A large" he says, as he thrusts the £95 dress into my hand. I trotted off into the changing room and slipped it over my head. "Mum can you please zip it up for me?" "Not a hope in hell" she says, "You need at least another 6 inches of material to get it to meet!". My mum is a whiz at sewing and if I had found out about this event sooner she would have made me a dress. She measured my bra against the dress and it was no way a size 12 let alone 14. Outrageous I thought, you pay all that money for the label and you don't even get the cloth to go with it!

My quest for an outfit then took me to Kelso, where I found the most amazing tailors shop. Munroe's near Somerfield (please go a must for bridal/ ball gowns etc). Upon walking in you could tell it was quality, lovely cuts, good fabric and taste! Not some Friday night pulling outfit, but real classy. The problem with this shop is that the dresses were too nice. However if I get a Prince Charming to marry me or even take me to a ball, then I know where to go for a dress.

Eventually I ended up in Galashiels and after traipsing round Next, Tesco, Asda, M&S etc I got something to wear, only in each shop I was a different size, and also I was trying on size 18 clothes when I only officially measure up to a size 12/14. As you can imagine I was mortified with this and vowed to cut out all the labels when I got home, so that no-one could see what a fat porker I had become. I did however really feel down about the job, but when I reflect now, it must be quite horrible for all women to go into shops and have to try on sizes much larger than they would normally wear, a real downer on someones self-esteem.

I do think though that clothes have gone down the swanny in quality terms and that if you pay £20 for a top then you should get a) the right amount of fabric, b) something which is made from decent fabric and not something which will disintegrate in the washing machine.

Well that is it for my rant, and feel much better. My self-esteem is back up as I realise that the its the shops which are a fault, not me.

Lack of oxygen

My breathing became so laboured, I was fighting for air. With each breath in I knew that the supply of oxygen was getting less and may chest became tighter and tighter. I had to get out of there.

I struggled through to my area in the factory and a met a friend, he could see my trouble and told me to go upstairs into the offices.

The stairs were long, my breaths were short- it took some time. When I made it to the top it felt like there was an 18 stone man sitting on my chest.

The people in the offices looked at me as if to say "gods whats up with her, this is going to harm production," to be honest that's all they cared about.

I was told to go have some fresh air and go home, and some body from the factory would check me out in a few weeks- nobody ever did.

I had this terrible feeling all night long. As someone who smoked I didn't want to say anything to my parents as I believed that the cigs had finally caught up with me, I was later to learn that they hadn't.

The next day was lovely, warm and sunny, with a gentle breeze. Perfect for a spot of gardening. My grandma is a keen gardener and I offered my help to her as grandad is unable to help due to his spinal condition. I was still feeling very chesty and tight and had come to the conclusion that it was a chest infection.

Lunchtime came and grandad wanted a kipper so I cooked it for him in the microwave, as I lifted the clingfilm off the top and waft of fish laced steam came up into my face. It was down hill from then.

As I tried to move things in the greenhouse I was unable and spent most of the afternoon on the seat outside the bungalow, shielding what was wrong from gran (who is an ex- casualty sister), I managed but after supper I got washed and went straight to bed as it was getting worse and I didn't want to worry her, still thinking in my mind that it was a chest infection.

9pm came that night and when gran came through I now couldn't talk I was that short of breath. I told her what was wrong at this point and what had been happening and she called my parents and an ambulance.

By the time I got into the local hospital I had waited three hours. This was because it was a Saturday night and all the drunks and people who had been fighting had taken up the ambulances.

I had a chest x-ray there and then when i arrived and it showed that my left lung was full and the right one was half full, full of histamines that my body had produced in an allergic reaction- effectively I was drowning to death.

After three days in intensive care I was allowed home. I was still very weak and it took many days to get better. I didn't get a positive diagnosis of what was wrong for 2 months. I had Anaphylaxsis, caused by occupational asthma that had been untreated, therefore it went to the next level. However it was so severe in my condition that the smell of any type of fish and shellfish was enough to put me into Anaphylactic shock.

I can tell when I am going into shock as my chest becomes extremely tight. I go light- headed and if I don't have my adrenaline pens within minutes of the attack starting then I will go into a coma and die in around 10 minutes of the first symptoms occurring. I also have the usual symptoms of my mouth swelling if I eat anything that contains a fish product (oils and omega 3's), the back of my lips also swell up and burst.

I was naive when I first got Anaphylaxis as I thought that it would be easy to avoid, but potential harmful items are everywhere. I cant go out for meals and socialising in general is quite hard. Ive found that its easy to protect myself but its much harder when I'm in a group or out and about as the people themselves could be a potential threat as I cant in any terms expect everyone to understand my condition as much of the understanding comes after someone has seen me have an attack. I would love to get in touch with others who have Anaphylaxis as I would like to think that my experiences could help somebody else and that I could also be a support to others as it can be very daunting when the condition first occurs.